The year was 1656. On a cold winter night, Christiaan Huygens looked at two of his newly invented pendulum clocks hanging on the wall. The pendulums swung at different rates and rhythms, and as he watched them, he soon fell asleep. A few hours later he awoke, rubbed his eyes, and squinted to see clearly through the dying candlelight. Suddenly his eyes opened wider and he could clearly see that the two pendulums were now swinging in unison – they were synchronized. This is because, as Huygens discovered, the vibrations of each clock influenced each other; they “sympathized” with each other. A similar phenomena also happens with stringed instruments. When one string is vibrates, the other strings begin to vibrate as well. This is known as “sympathetic resonance.” Although he didn’t know it at the time, the sympathetic synchronization that Christiaan Huygens had witnessed is an example of what we should strive for in our relationships with our dogs – kenzoku.
Kenzoku, a Japanese word that means a deep and connected friendship, is an effortless relationship. When kenzoku exists between ourselves and our dogs, we have a seamless and harmonious connection that is free from stress and conflict. Everyone can achieve this, but it requires openness and acceptance and the letting go of ultimate control. Sometimes this relationship happens immediately, however most of us must go through a few stages in order to reach this level of friendship. I achieved kenzoku with my dog Cosmo before he died, and I am well on my way to achieving kenzoku with my present dogs, Bhakti and Bodhi. Continue reading “Synchronicity: Good Vibrations for You and Your Dog”
I was at a dog park in New Jersey the other day with my friend Carla, as we watched our dogs play together. We were discussing many dog related topics, and I brought up the idea of “Ikigai” – a Japanese concept that means “reason for being.” I suggested that every dog has an Ikigai, and that one secret to achieving a great friendship with our dogs is to help them find their own reason for being. After some discussion, and my usual long-winded streams of thought, Carla, who has a great talent of cutting through the hodgepodge and getting to the point said, “You mean, it’s what makes your dog sing.”
Every dog has an inner song, and one mission of the Path of Friendship is to help us bring it out so that it can be sung loudly and proudly. Unfortunately, finding it is not always so easy. It requires us to step outside of ourselves and set aside our preconceived notions about how things ought to be; what we think our dogs should be. We can only help them to find their song when we allow them to be who they truly are. Continue reading “What Makes Your Dog Sing?”
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~ Albert Einstein
He failed all the tests. There was no eye contact, and he didn’t even want to face me. When I approached him, he tried to hide and when I took his leash, he went into a panic. When I tried to touch him, he recoiled in horror. He wanted absolutely nothing to do with me. This was how I first met my dog Bodhi. It was love at first sight.
There is too much reliance these days on temperament tests, compatibility analysis and behavior checklists, and not nearly enough on intuition and chemistry. Every week I read about better methods of temperament testing and “new and improved” behavior analysis. Unfortunately, when we decide to add a dog into our lives, less and less emphasis is put on “love at first sight,” our initial visceral feelings. We are told over and over to think with our heads and not our hearts, but is this really sound advice? Is this the best way to begin and develop a deep friendship? Continue reading “Love at First Sight”
Gates, doors and crates can separate us from our dogs, but often the greatest barrier between us is how we think about them.
“Barrier frustration” is a term used by dog trainers and behaviorists that describe the tension and stress a dog feels by being separated from what he wants to investigate and connect with. This often creates aggressive behaviors and can lead to anxiety issues for both the dog and their human friend. But there’s a bigger issue here. This very principle could describe how many people and their dogs go through life together, missing the incredible joys of a great relationship.
The Path of Friendship is devoted to helping people and their dogs achieve “kenzoku”, the Japanese word for a deeply connected, barrier free friendship. Kenzoku is the connection of two living beings on the deepest level; the natural relationship between humans and dogs, free of obstacles. Continue reading “Breaking Down The Barriers”
When I hear the word orphanage, it conjures up images of Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist asking for “more” from the sadistic Mr. Bumble. Did you know that in the United States, orphanages have become obsolete? They have been replaced by foster care programs and private adoption agencies. Also, the availability of education on responsible parenting and child care has increased significantly. The days of institutionalizing children are over, but not so much for dogs. For them orphanages, a k a shelters, still exist.
Having worked with many animal shelters during my professional career, and being the former director of operations for the four branch shelters of the Pennsylvania SPCA, I have seen the good, the bad and the ugly. I have seen shelters that have been “killing factories,” and I have seen shelters where people work like the dickens to find a home for each and every animal there.
The difference between these shelters lies in their basic attitudes, assumptions and culture; their respective dogmas. The shelters that succeed in helping animals in their community know that their job is not to rescue the dogs and cats, but to be a temporary way station until their real rescuer comes for them. Then the shelters facilitate that rescue with every resource available to them. These shelter workers truly believe that every animal deserves a home, and they have enough faith and determination to make that a reality. They scoff at those who claim that a dog is “unadoptable”. While it’s true that some dogs are more difficult to place than others, with hard work and dedication successful matches can be made. I have seen this time and time again. Continue reading “Animal Shelters Don’t Rescue Animals … People Do”
Is your dog a Sun Dog or a Moon Dog, and what is the difference?
With the solar eclipse happening over North America Monday, I began thinking about the differences between the sun and the moon, and how they are great metaphors for our dogs. For me, I much prefer a Sun Dog to a Moon Dog. Here are the characteristics of the sun and the moon, and how they apply to our dogs:
In the blink of an eye he was gone. My friend of 12 years. Although I knew this day would be coming for some time now, when it arrived it hit me with the suddenness and impact of an earthquake. My friend Cosmo was gone, and my world was shaken to its core. Where did the time go? There was so much more we needed to do together; so much more I needed to learn from him. It’s been over a year that he’s gone and I still miss the way he looked at me, the feel and scent of his fur, and the friendship that we shared.
Our dogs are with us for only brief a time, yet they leave the most profound mark on our lives. Our dogs make us whole and fully human, yet, they leave us way too soon. On average a dog has only one-sixth the lifespan of humans, a mere fraction of the time we have.
“The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long.”, said Lao Tzu, and how brightly our dogs shine during their short time here on Earth.
I often question why this is so. Why do dogs live so briefly compared to us? After all, we are connected at the deepest levels – evolutionary, biologically, culturally, and, I would strongly argue, spiritually. So why are we together for so short a time? I have several thoughts on this, and although none are very comforting, they help to satisfy me in a small way. Continue reading “In the Blink of an Eye…”
Sometimes I feel like shouting from the rooftops: “Stop training your dog!!”
There is way too much emphasis on controlling dogs rather than allowing them to grow to their fullest potential. The need for control is sometimes self-serving, and does nothing for the well being or personal growth of the dog and just feeds our own egos. I have even seen social media posts on how well “trained” dogs are by demonstrating how the dog won’t touch a morsel of food until the “okay” is given, or that the dog will take single steps at a time under the strict control of their owner shouting the order. Is this supposed to impress? Obedience and other training competitions measure levels of control one has over their dog. Yes, I was an enthusiastic participant of that scene once upon a time, competing heavily in Schutzhund and French Ring with my dogs. Thankfully, I have grown since then.
Your thoughts about control will depend on how you feel about your dog and the relationship you have with him. Is your dog a vehicle in which you place all your desires and ambitions? Are you living vicariously through your dog? Or do you feel as if your dog is an accessory in your life? I know that in legal terms, dogs are considered “chattel”, but can one living organism really own another? Continue reading “Cultivate Growth – Not Control.”
The above list should be the code of conduct for humans as well as dogs in all public places and places of business. Let me explain:
My dogs are my friends, and I take them with me almost everywhere I go. I believe this is important for the emotional and psychological health of my dogs. Being exposed to many different situations inoculates them against stress and prepares them for life. However, this often limits me to where I am able to go. Many stores and restaurants prohibit dogs so I patronize the establishments that are dog friendly and avoid those that discriminate against dogs. Recently, my wife and I visited the Seneca Lake wine country with our dogs, and found that although many wineries welcomed our dogs, there were still some that banned them. Yes, believe it or not in this day and age there are still establishments that discriminate based on species.
Although this way of thinking is gradually changing, for as long as I can remember, dogs have gotten the “short end of the leash” when it comes to shopping and entertainment. “No Dogs Allowed” is posted on the windows and doors of many retail and business organizations. So, I ask the question, “Why??” Continue reading “No Dogs Allowed.”
“The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.” ~ Helen Keller
Someone called me the other day and asked, “Do you work with German shepherds?”
“Of course!” I said, “I work with all dogs.”
“But shepherds are different,” she insisted.
This woman was falling into the trap of thinking only about names and labels, and failed to really know her particular dog. She was under the assumption that all German shepherds were exactly same, as if they had been mass produced in a factory with strict quality control guidelines. She wasn’t able to see beyond the packaging and the labels and get to understand the individuality of her own dog.
This is a trap many of us fall into. We spend endless hours reading and researching and we love to categorize, compartmentalize and label behaviors such as “aggressive,” “shy,” “fearful,” “alpha.” I could go on and on with the list of nouns I have heard people, even dog professionals, use to describe their dogs. Although this labeling system can be a useful tool, often it is misused. This is lazy and disrespectful to your dog. It puts him or her in a box where there is no escape. Your dog is much more than a word; a noun. If all you know about your dog is a list of nouns, then you don’t truly know your dog at all. Continue reading “How Well Do You Really Know Your Dog?”